Spirituality and Sexuality: A Compromise is Necessary
It doesn't matter where you are; if the word "sexuality" is spoken, a hush occurs around you and people start paying attention. Mention spirituality and sexuality in the same sentence and a room goes quiet.
Believers struggle with the concept of spirituality and sexual acceptance. There are rules we must follow and talking about sex appears to break one of those rules.
Why is it that we equate the concept of sex with shame? We are all God's children, and we are here because of sex. It doesn't get more basic than that.
When we factor in the shame that occurs with the act of sexuality, we create new problems. One person's inability to perform, or get their body to prepare for the sexual act with their partner can lead to confrontation, as well as feelings of inadequacy and possibly, feelings of being unloved.
The problems that occur within the act of sexuality can be remedied. But it takes a person to push away the shame and realize nothing is wrong with them — they just need a little extra help.
Church members have often spoke to their elders and asked how to "fix" these problems that they are not equipped to remedy without guidance.
In 2015 a study was performed in which church members at an un-named church were asked to write any problems regarding their sexuality and more specifically the sexual act, and turn that paper in to the elders (anonymously of course). The elders explained that the most common issue would be addressed among any adult members who wished to attend a special session on spirituality and sexuality.
The largest single problem found on these hand-written notes were about the inability of the female partner (whether it was written by the husband or wife) to get wet, to have the lubrication need to perform the sexual act without pain or uncomfort, and how that was impacting their life.
In the response, it was discussed that "life", kids, and stress are the biggest causes of this problem but that the solution is quite simple.
The solution: buy a lubricant to assist with those loving moments when nature wasn't cooperating. They could also speak to their gynecologist and ask for specific recommendations of type of lubricant and best place to purchase.
Many of them followed up and were given suggestions about brands and types, water-based vs silicone, glycerin free, as well as lubes that should not be used.
It was a very forward move on the part of the elders, and a very happy moment for couples who did not know how to fix their perceived "problems" in their moments of sexuality.